Friday, February 18, 2011

My Girls

Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty are outside (today is a school holiday) swinging in the beautiful Spring-like weather.  I am right inside the window, with it open, watching them and even more amusing, listening to them.

They, ages almost six and three, are planning for one of the happiest days of their lives.  They are planning their wedding days

While I know, Lord willing, I have many, many years left with them being here at heart aches.

I also heard, "When I get old like Mommy..."  I blacked out after that, came to, and decided to write the following...

Wasn't this just a few weeks ago?!
Believe me, I look good for what I just went through.

Our Heiress (says that on her nightie)
Swingin' it up!

Photo credit Jon
 "Mother Theresa"

Cinderella is so very special.  She was our first and we fought, prayed and cried to get her here.  Infertility is a horrible, nasty thing to experience and I will never shy away from sharing about our experiences with it.  Yes, it made us stronger, refined us and taught us patience (boy did it ever).  But it also devastated us and made us question everything.   There must have been a reason we suffered through so much.  Maybe so I could tell our story.  But then, God blessed us with her.  She is the single best thing that has ever happened to me.  Aside from her daddy and sister, of course.  Everyone that knows her loves her.  She is not catty or selfish and loves to play with her little sister.   I experienced motherhood first with her and we will always have that bond.  We lived through so many "firsts" together and she has taught me a lot.  I am still learning.  She is my mini-me.  She made me a mommy, King of the Crazies a daddy, my sister an aunt, my brother an uncle and taught my parents how to be "NanaPa."  She has made all our lives better for having her in it.  I can't believe she is almost six years old.

Or this?!  This was surely yesterday...

Sleeping Beauty: 
 This is still a favorite.
Photo Credit My Dad
Photo Credit My Dad 
See how big the outfit is?  It was Preemie size!
 (Next three by my Dad)
I still have this one up in my bedroom. 
Cinderella meets Sleeping Beauty!

This is another favorite - my sis, me and my mom (Nana)
By Dad

 The 3 Crazy Gals

I was only in labor for 17 hours with Sleeping Beauty but her actual birth was amazing and easy compared to her big sister.  I mean, I did deliver her.  I don't know what it is about Sleeping Beauty, maybe because she was such a gift from God after the struggle to get pregnant with her big sister, but when I gave birth to her and welcomed her into this world and looked at her, I knew her.  Funny how that is sometimes.  She is an old soul, wise beyond her short three years and very  intuitive.  Plus, I got to hold her straightway and not wait for over an hour because she was in distress like her big sister. With Cinderella, it was all traumatic and rough and yes, a longer labor than 17 hours.  Even the doctor said she had never been so stressed out!  :o/  Nevertheless, I loved her immediately and so happy to finally put her face with her name.  The minute I saw her I would have taken down anyone who got in my way or hurt my baby!  But it was worth all I went through for both my girls.  I would do it again to have them here.  :o)

Thank goodness they are only almost six and three.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wordful Wednesday: Pure Joy

Baby Boot Camp paid off.  Last Friday, when Little Prince (my sister's baby) was one week old, Sleeping Beauty got to hold him for the very first time.

Join in Wordful Wednesday at Seven Clown Circus!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Childhood Memories

Take one Cinderella:
And one Sleeping Beauty (with a band-aid on her nose and hands on her hips):
And some fishing:
And room to roam and run free:
And room to fall down from laughing so hard:
And some "Llama tracks" AKA deer tracks:
And you get wonderful childhood memories...
with a friend you will have forever.  :o)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day

Happy Hearts Day!  (I have many a childhood photo in rollers.)  :o)

The girls with part of their loot from daddy.  They also got chocolates!!

Simply Amazed

I think there are grown ups who do not understand some of the things my three year old does.  Today we were listening to "My Immortal" by Evanescence.  If you have not heard it or don't know what I am talking about - watch the video (below) or listen to the song.  It is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I have ever heard.  I have to try not to cry when I hear it.  

Here are the lyrics but you MUST listen to it:

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

There could be many meanings behind this song but to me I take it as a woman who wanted to free her soul (the cloths tied to various places on her body made my think she was being held hostage by the memories).  She wanted to free herself from this man (not ending her life but the bad circumstances in her life) as he was just a shell of a being now - due to bad ways, abusiveness, drugs, whatever.  She will always be bound to the memories of what was - when life was good between the two of them, before it all went bad.  What a heartbreaking struggle - for what was and what will never be.

This song could also be about losing someone and not being able to do a thing to stop it from happening.   The pain that is to come is too much to bear.  

While listening to this today Sleeping Beauty said to me, "Oh Mommy!  She's heartbroken.  She is crying.  Her Prince  Charming must have drowned in her tears!"  She didn't see the video - we were in the car.  And while I doubt he "drowned in her tears" I know that she understood.  I am just amazed at her ability to understand love so completely.  I think we are raising two young ladies who will really touch some lives one day.   I know I've already been changed.

Thank you for coming here - no matter what the reason.  :o)

Happy Valentine's Day!