Monday, June 13, 2011

Graduation and Time Flies

It didn't hit me until this evening.

I graduated from high school 15 years ago today.

I couldn't be more shocked.  Not because the time has gone by so quickly but because I know it will go by faster still.  This past school year, with Cinderella in Kindergarten all day, every day the school year just seemed to fly by.  I know that the older my two girls get, the school years will go by faster than the one before it.   I will be 48 in no time.  (That is in 15 more years.)  Not that there is anything wrong with getting older.  ;)  Though apparently, after seeing the below picture, my mom doesn't age!!

Dad, me and Mom
(Now I want to go to my old bedroom and scan in a picture of me with King of the Crazies on this same night.)  I think back to that Thursday evening 15 years ago, when I was 18 and it seemed I had my whole life before me.  I remember the lavender dress I wore under my blue gown and the silver high heels I borrowed from my mom.  I remember the way I felt walking from the fairgrounds back to the school to go out with the graduating class.  I was elated.  I was FINALLY FREE!  I felt fully grown up and like I could do whatever I wanted.  I sometimes miss that young, innocent girl.   I was excited but also filled with a little worry because of the unknown.  I also knew that in a matter of weeks my heart would be broken.

After the graduation ceremony I went out all night with the kids in my graduating class and had fun. The school had sponsored it and I don't remember much of what we did, just that I had fun.  I remember I forgot my shoes so I had to borrow a friend's NINE YEAR OLD SISTER'S shoes to wear for the night.  They were Keds and had "ABC's" all over them.  HAHA  I also remember we got on Greyhound type buses to ride to where we were going.  There was laser tag and video games, good food and a lot laughter.  

I had a fun summer and continued with my job serving ice cream - HAHA- but I was already wanting time to slow down.  This would be the first of many, many times I would beg the hands of time to slow their ticking.  When summer ended I knew I would be moving to the other side of the country and leaving my friends and my soul mate.

It was hard for my mind and heart to grasp how I would marry the guy I KNEW I was going to marry when I lived over 3,000 miles away from him.  I prayed a lot and wished on a lot of stars for good measure just in case some of my prayers weren't heard.  And, of course, we both JUST KNEW we'd end up together one day.

We all know how that story ended but it was a hard road for the both of us.  I would cry myself to sleep at night and wish I would wake up older.  Funny how that works: I wanted time to speed up. In some ways it did seem to speed up.  I kept in touch off and on with my soul mate but more as a  "friend thing."  I had fun, went to school and made new friends.  About three years went by and one day I woke up not knowing it was the day my life would change forever and for the better.   I got a call from The King of the Crazies and life was never the same again.  He was coming to visit me and during that visit he said he would move here to be with me.  I never asked him to.  :)  I never promised him a future if he moved here and he knew that.  He took that leap anyway.  We've been together (again) ever since.  He moved here after seven months of dating long distance and we married about two years later.  

As I look back at the past 15 years, there are things I didn't do that I thought I would.  It wasn't all fun but a lot of it was.  I went through a lot even with The King of the Crazies by my side.  But I am happy and I have everything my 18 year old self could have dreamed for my 33 year old self.   How I wish I could go back a la "Back to the Future" and tell myself that it would all be fine, no matter how awful it seemed, it would all work out and I'd be happy. And by the way, you will marry the only one your heart ever wanted and you'll be a mommy to two gorgeous little girls.  :)