Saturday, October 23, 2010

New Start

I have been a blogger since December 2006.  I decided to make this blog and not use our real names so as to feel safer and have some sense of anonymity in the blog world.  I don't want just anyone all up in my life.  As of now, I do not plan on continuing my other, private blog.  But that may change.  I am going to get it printed and then I suppose close it down.  Or not...

So, we begin.  I have missed writing.  I have always written.  In books, journals, in my mind and heart.  Always.  A lot of times no one but me and God know what I write and that is OK.  It is a good way for me to process my thoughts and feelings and move on.  This time, however, I am going to be more honest.  I am going to blog about the bad days and the good days.  At times, it seems I have more of the former than the latter but that is normal when raising young children.  No one is perfect and I would hate to make someone feel like they aren't "with it."  No mother is, I promise you.  For example,  I feel like a scatterbrained mess who can barely remember to dress herself each day.  How's that for honesty?!  AND I feel like I am in a sinking boat and all I have is a thimble to remove the filling, sinking boat!  Having two children is A LOT of work!  I can live through the bad because God loves me. He thinks I'm to die for.  (I saw that somewhere and I liked it.  He died for you and for me.)  He loves you too.  More than any of us could ever understand.   I can deal with the tantrums and crying and whining too.  And that's just the husband.  ;o)  With God, I can do anything.  My Mamaw (paternal) used to tell me she never prayed so much as she did raising three boys and a girl.  He helped her through her days and now He is helping me through mine.  I love my husband, The King of the Crazies. (Yes, I am laughing as I type that.)  He is home every night and does the bath time routine with the girls. He treats me well, I try to treat him well, and he works so I don't have to and so I can raise our girls.  Best of all, he loves me for me.  I can totally and completely be myself and he, himself.  I love my girls, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.  They are amazing and have some of the best of me and my husband in them.  But I am also amazed and humbled that God has entrusted us with their souls.  I feel undeserving and unworthy of these two precious blessings.  They are my miracles.  I will talk more about the fight with depression and infertility that I had to endure to even have my babies.  So, about the girls: They have beautiful souls, pure hearts and are each full of God's love.   Cinderella is in Kindergarten and Sleeping Beauty is home with me. Cinderella is sweet, has a giving heart, is such a helper, loves animals of all kinds and gorgeous.   Sleeping Beauty is wild, loud and crazy, tiny for her age and a gorgeous girl version of her father.  I will share more and more as time goes on about their personalities.  And boy, they have them.  BIG personalities.

I also want to discuss the Bible, God and my faith more.  The above paragraph reminded me of why we should all "Become as little children"  as The Bible says.  Matthew 18:1-5.  Children are pure, blameless (er, for the most part!  ;o) ) and most importantly they do not judge and they love anyone and everyone and all they ask in return is LOVE.

That's it for now.  The King of the Crazies took the princesses fishing and I am enjoying the quiet.

I am guessing I should have titled this entry - "All Over the Place."  :)