My Heart Actually Hurts

It wasn't until this school shooting on Friday that I realized just how unsafe our country has become.  Yes, there have been other shootings and yes they have even been in schools.  But this one in a Kindergarten through fourth grade school has shaken me to my core.  The children killed were Cinderella's age and a year or two older than Sleeping Beauty.

I grew up in a Navy family.  I was always aware that there were bad people in the world, people who would want Americans dead if they were given the chance. But I always felt safe.   When I was about Cinderella's age we lived in Italy.  I went to school on base AN HOUR AWAY from my house.  I was in first and second grade during this time. There were guards with guns that rode on the bus with us.  I am thankful that I was unaware of that until I was older.  Once at school, it wasn't uncommon to have bomb threats and have to hide.  Libya was all sorts of crazy then and I remember vividly being crouched down and praying.  AT SCHOOL.    On a Navy Base.  No one can ever tell you that you cannot pray.  You can do so in your head and only you and God will know.

Deuteronomy 31:6
New King James Version (NKJV)
"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

One thing I have ALWAYS taken with me and that I will instill in my girls is that GOD IS ALWAYS THERE and you can always talk to Him.  The WORST thing they can do is kill you and if that happens, and you are a child who is innocent,  you get to go to Heaven.  That is where everyone is trying to make it to anyway.  To not be sad about those left behind because God will take care of them too.

I am still anxious and do not like my oldest being at school today.  I have cried and prayed about her safety and the safety of other children in schools across our country and even overseas.  I would not be OK at all if something were to happen to either of my girls but I will not stop living my life because of fear.  Then evil has won and evil doesn't win.  I've read the end of The Book.  :)