I am having one of those days where nothing seems to be going the right way. I can't say the right thing. I can't do the right thing. My kids won't listen to me. I woke with my head hurting a little bit. If I could crawl in a hole and let the day pass me by I would. It's just one of those days. The kids should be bulldozing their rooms but instead they are making the big messes even bigger and then they get angry with me when I try to help them with the clean up. They don't want to clean but don't want to be stuck here all day either. And that is exactly what I told them would happen if they did not do what I asked them to do.
Sometimes I feel as if they want to see how close to the edge of insanity they can push me. Most days I am hanging on by a thread. I can admit that. They can be so sweet but they can also make life miserable. I know all children are like this and that they will grow up and be gone one day but while I am in the middle of living it, it is hard. I knew it would be hard but most days it is harder than it should be. More than once, I have fallen asleep almost mid sentence once Tim gets home I am so worn out from the day. They take and demand all I have to give. And then some.
For the most part they get along with one another. That doesn't always mean good things though. That means messes. Messes they are stubborn about cleaning and then do a half way job when asked to clean. That just means more work in the long run - for me and Tim.
It's the days they fight and squabble nearly non stop that have made me feel like such a nut. I feel like I am losing my mind. The yelling, loud voices, crying and yes, sometimes gnashing of the teeth. And then I start yelling. :/ It's the only way I can be heard over all the noise. I feel like a referee without a loud enough voice and without a whistle. And I can't whistle...
Some changes are going to have to take place here. I want to make it out of summer break alive.
I am asking for nice suggestions - please....Or words of encouragement.
You're right when you say all children are like this, so try to remember that other moms, probably even moms you admire and think have it all together are also being driven to yell at or even spank their kids, and then feel bad about themselves for not acting like the mom they think they should be.
ReplyDeleteMy advice--for what it's worth, because there are many days when I might have written this post myself--is to relax your standards and remember your priority is kids first, house later. Yes, you have to try to keep your house clean, but forgive yourself for what is essentially being normal instead of perfect. Everyone's house is messy. Everyone's kids make huge messes, and hardly anyone's kids are any good at cleaning at this age. When I make my kids clean, I try to remember that the idea is not that they clean to my standards, but that they learn that cleaning is part of our daily life. This also means I clean after they clean if I want it to look the way I like it. Or more often, I just let it go until I have time.
If you're anything like most women, your frustration is rooted in the fact that you have a picture in your head of what your life should be like, and sometimes daily life is so far removed from that picture that it's scary. Slow down and examine your motives when you feel this way, and try to change your expectations to be more realistic. Walk away if you can, until you can deal with things from a rational, thoughtful place rather than an emotional, reactive place.
And, Kelly? You're doing fine. I can guarantee your house is cleaner than mine, and I can tell your kids are happy and well-adjusted.
Next time you feel crazy lean an ear towards the brown house I almost guarantee you'll hear me! the growing pains of one (her major tude!) The evil enjoyment the other gets out of making her more tudesh(yes I made up a word!lol) me learning to live beyond the mess we are still adjusting to and add the four dogs all I'm missing is the hug myself jacket;-) the more stressed I get the more I clean but nothing feels like progress with little boy I always have the ref shirt on either dogs kids or both. As long as your loving them along the way then I say your coming out on top of the battle! I seriously just made menus to try to add some sanity to this place we call home.....let's see how it works:-\
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