As females, we go through so very much. A couple of those things are PMS and cramps. And if you say you do not get cramps I may just cut you.
PMS is a nightmare. No matter how beautiful we are, we feel fat, ugly, bloated and depressed. And sometimes homicidal, but I digress. It's no fun and just around the corner the real fun begins.
More bloating.
Cramping.
Headaches or even worse, migraines.
Nothing fits.
We want to eat everything in sight.
Cranky and irritable.
All we want is chocolate or potato chips. Sometimes, we want both.
Heaven help the man who has to live with us.
And we want to cut everyone we see.
And then there is the obvious, which bears no mentioning. As if it couldn't get worse from here and yet it does...
But we deal. We have no choice in the matter really and the reward, one day, we are told will be GRAND. Wonderful. Beautiful. We have the chance to make miracles! We have the ability to have a baby when the time is right.
Only sometimes that time doesn't come when we want it to.
Sometimes it is delayed. And for some, that time never comes. Ever.
It is so awful that we are raised to believe (by society) we can reproduce when we want to and have the results we want when we want them but the truth is, it doesn't work that way. At all.
Being infertile is almost taboo. No one talks about it. And it is getting better. More people are coming forward and sharing their struggles every day. When I was going through it, it took me talking about it and sharing about it to get others to tell me they went through it too. And it is more common than we are led to believe...
What are your thoughts on this? Did you believe when the time was right you could have a baby when you wanted? How did your journey to getting pregnant go? ANYONE can reply, you don't have to have struggled for your children.
We know how mine went. It took a while and I had to fight to keep my own body parts in my twenties. I endured heartbreak, depression, loss, pain and anger to just name a few. Every woman's journey to motherhood is different. But I now have two beautiful girls and I want to help other women not give up hope. It is so easy to feel helpless, like everyone else is pregnant and like nothing will ever go your way.
I never could have realized when I was trying to get pregnant with Cinderella that I wasn't ready to be a mom yet. In hindsight I can see that now. (I am not speaking for everyone this is just my story.) When the time truly was right I did get pregnant but it was in God's time, not mine.
They were worth the wait.
Now my life is full of love and laughter. ANd cRaZiNeSs. I mean, where else can you see a six year old in an infant bouncy seat? Later the three year old Sleeping Beauty had her turn. We had this out for my nephew when he came to dinner and the girls were alllll over it!
Never, ever, ever give up hope. Sometimes it is all we really have. If I can help you in any way please email me - my email address is in my profile. I am praying for those of you who are struggling and especially for the women who have reached out to me recently. I know how it feels and I will never forget it.
James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."
1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."
Dedicated to all the mommies to be and new mommies out there.
You will feel scared and out of control before your baby is born and feel you won't even know what to do with a baby - let alone take care of it. Don't worry! It comes naturally and you go into auto pilot.
The love for your baby may not be instant when you give birth. (It was for me with mine, but it is OK and normal if you do not feel a bond immediately. This does not make you a bad mom.)
Post Partum Depression does NOT make you a bad mother and if you are feeling worse than just having "The Baby Blues," call your doctor NOW! (I dealt with this after Baby #2 and it made me feel like a horrible mother.)
No matter what birthing class/parenting class you take NOTHING can prepare for what you will experience and every birth is different. There is no way to tell you how it will be.
At the same time, no one can possibly convey to you just how much you will love your own baby. Words are useless.
And most births and birth plans do not go according to plan. The unpredictability will be a new way of life anyway once your baby is "on the outside!"
This is awful, but upon first seeing your newborn you may think the worst. Do not be alarmed at first if your baby is blue, purple or not crying. I have a six year old who looked this way at first (and scared her father and I so much) and is healthy as can be. The birthing class tried to prepare us for this but she looked worse than I thought she would. Long and hard labors can contribute to this.
There is no way to describe labor pains if you have never been in labor. And when THE TIME comes, you WILL know!
Much like times in your pregnancy, you will cry at the drop of a hat after having the baby and this lasts a few weeks (and for some, months) and it makes you feel like a bad mother because you love your baby. This is normal.
Just because you were deemed infertile and had trouble getting pregnant at all - do NOT rule out getting pregnant after you have had a baby. Having a baby seems to reset you or something and corrected problems for me and for some of my friends.
The "afterpains" are more horrendous with each baby you have. After my second, the birth was easier but the afterpains made me hurt more than the labor and delivery of my baby.
While I have heard you forget your labor pains as soon as you see your baby that was NOT the case for me with my firstborn. It was an ordeal and the doctor was even stressed out, but obviously, over time I forgot as my three year old is here to prove.
You will get some hideously ugly clothes for your baby. And sometimes (shudder) you will have to dress your baby in them to appease the masses.
You will get more blankets than six kids can possibly use - let alone one!
Breast milk can and will shoot across the room, whether you breastfeed or not.
The hot shower makes your milk let down. This is a nightmare when trying to "dry out."
A crying baby can make your milk let down even if you are not breast feeding. And even if it is not YOUR baby!
Cabbage leaves and a sports bra can dry up your milk but it takes a while and I never enjoyed it. And dude, cabbage stinks!!
You sweat A LOT after having a baby. This is the way you get rid of a lot of that fluid. But it is seriously insane how much you sweat.
Take the crib mattress out of the bed to do the sheet change. I promise it is easier this way, especially after you drop the mattress down once the baby can sit up.
Your kid will get sick when the doctor's office is closed.
If you can (haha) have baby in October - December. Deductibles have been met so you will have less to pay...
You will have to pay a copay for EVERY visit to the pediatrician. Not to mention the medicines and just well checks are a copay. Money goes FAST. Things cost a lot more than you could ever plan for.
Fevers are the worst at night.
Fevers are generally good - it means the body is fighting off whatever is making them feel bad.
A child can throw up and then be perfectly fine with no more incidents.
Children know how to whine automatically. And you will automatically want to cut your ears off.
You will know the pharmacy staff by name and they will ask you about the kids when you are in.
Feeding your baby in the night, even though you have your baby with you (awake or asleep) you will feel alone and like you are the only one in the world awake. You aren't. Remember this when you feel alone.
If you desperately need your baby/toddler/preschooler to sleep or take a nap - it won't happen. The same goes for trying to KEEP them awake. Try to keep them awake and they are out in two minutes flat!
The "Mama Bear Instinct" is very real and can sometimes kick in before your baby is even born.
You can be eating dinner, clean up a disgusting mess or diaper, wash your hands and go back to eating as normal.
Puke is hard to wash out of hair.
You won't believe how much poop, pee, snot, spit and throw up can come out of your baby.
The infant car seat carriers just will NOT fit in the top of the shopping buggy.
If you have a newborn and a toddler they will both need you at the exact same moment and you will have to laugh so you don't cry.
You will laugh a lot to stop yourself from crying.
Sometimes, you just have to cry.
Gum WILL get stuck in hair and you'll be forced to cut it out with the only device you have: nail clippers. At church.
Always have a spare outfit for a potty training child. The one day you forget it will be when an accident occurs.
There will be diaper blow outs and you will have to clean up something worse than your nightmares can imagine.
Always buy two of everything if you have girls. Same color, exact. I am not sure if this is true for boys and I don't intend to find out.
Your baby/toddler will poop in the tub. And they will think it is funny. You will not.
Become BFF's with your child's doctors, nurses, caregivers, secretary at the doctor's office. It really does help when times get tough and they are a friend to help you out.
Bedtime will be dragged out, stalled and sometimes make you want to die.
And finally, you will break every single one of the rules you made before you HAD children. You know, "My kid will never have a pacifier, co-sleep, eat junk food, cry, poop, etc." ;)
My thoughts on becoming a mother to my girls
