PMS is a nightmare. No matter how beautiful we are, we feel fat, ugly, bloated and depressed. And sometimes homicidal, but I digress. It's no fun and just around the corner the real fun begins.
More bloating.
Cramping.
Headaches or even worse, migraines.
Nothing fits.
We want to eat everything in sight.
Cranky and irritable.
All we want is chocolate or potato chips. Sometimes, we want both.
Heaven help the man who has to live with us.
And we want to cut everyone we see.
And then there is the obvious, which bears no mentioning. As if it couldn't get worse from here and yet it does...
But we deal. We have no choice in the matter really and the reward, one day, we are told will be GRAND. Wonderful. Beautiful. We have the chance to make miracles! We have the ability to have a baby when the time is right.
Only sometimes that time doesn't come when we want it to.
Sometimes it is delayed. And for some, that time never comes. Ever.
It is so awful that we are raised to believe (by society) we can reproduce when we want to and have the results we want when we want them but the truth is, it doesn't work that way. At all.
Being infertile is almost taboo. No one talks about it. And it is getting better. More people are coming forward and sharing their struggles every day. When I was going through it, it took me talking about it and sharing about it to get others to tell me they went through it too. And it is more common than we are led to believe...
What are your thoughts on this? Did you believe when the time was right you could have a baby when you wanted? How did your journey to getting pregnant go? ANYONE can reply, you don't have to have struggled for your children.
We know how mine went. It took a while and I had to fight to keep my own body parts in my twenties. I endured heartbreak, depression, loss, pain and anger to just name a few. Every woman's journey to motherhood is different. But I now have two beautiful girls and I want to help other women not give up hope. It is so easy to feel helpless, like everyone else is pregnant and like nothing will ever go your way.
I never could have realized when I was trying to get pregnant with Cinderella that I wasn't ready to be a mom yet. In hindsight I can see that now. (I am not speaking for everyone this is just my story.) When the time truly was right I did get pregnant but it was in God's time, not mine.
They were worth the wait.
Never, ever, ever give up hope. Sometimes it is all we really have. If I can help you in any way please email me - my email address is in my profile. I am praying for those of you who are struggling and especially for the women who have reached out to me recently. I know how it feels and I will never forget it.
James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."
1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."
Never give up hope, all things in good time and these beautiful blessings worth waiting for.Hopping over from SITS Hugs
ReplyDeleteI got married at 19 and wanted to have kids right away. The hubby wasnt ready (thank God!), so we waited till I was about 25 to start "trying". And nothing happened...we tried for years, although I never did in vitro. We decided to stop with all the meds (the side effects were horrible, and so was the stress) and let nature takes its course. If it was meant to be, it would be. I would go through little depressions about it, feeling guilty that I couldn't get pregnant. I assumed the problem was me of course, even though he was never tested. Fast forward 5 years later, and my husband breaks the news that he hadn't been happy for most of our marriage, he felt we were too young when we got married, and he didn't get to experience life on his own. Since the feeling wasn't mutual, I was devastated. 11 years of marriage to the love of my life down the drain...and unfortunately, I lost it. A few months after our divorce was finalized, I started seeing someone casually, unfortunately just out of loneliness, and I ended up getting pregnant. This was sooo not the way I imagined having a baby, but I wouldn't take it back for anything!! All I can think of is that God knew my ex was not really ready, and that's why we never had kids together. Everything happens for a reason, right??
ReplyDeleteHi there!! Thanks for popping in on my blog to let you know you missed me! It means a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteWe struggled with infertility, only it was what they call "secondary infertility", and it struck after we had our 7th child after our first stillborn baby. So, some of my younger children are over 3 years apart. Nobody has any idea why. But I do believe that our fertility should be in God's hands. the Bible says "in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." The thing is, I didn't always feel or think that way. God had to bring me to that place, as He has to for everyone, when they are ready.
I believe that He is the decider of how many children families should have, whether it be two or ten or twenty. Filling the earth and subduing it looks different for every family.
I do realize that not everyone has that kind of a mind as Christians, and as long as they want to be totally surrendered to God and want what He has for them, they will eventually see that too.
Infertility is heartbreaking. But God makes beauty out of ashes, all the time.
Thanks for posting such a thought provoking post. I like to talk about things nobody else likes to talk about!! Take care and see you soon over at the blog!!
I feel your pain. I too had trouble getting pregnant. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or as I jokingly call it "my lumpy ovaries." It was a long and tough road but in hindsight I believe I got pregnant when it was meant to happen. There were definitely days I felt broken. It seemed as if everywhere I went I saw a pregnant woman, which only make me feel less of woman. I did conceive with IUI and had a wonderful pregnancy and am now head over heels in love with motherhood. I think my experience helps me appreciate every minute of being a mom.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting about this topic. I've been debating whether or not to share my experience on my blog but I just not sure how to beginning or what tone to take. Your post has got me thinking about it again. Thanks!
I am one of those that always thought two things happened naturally to a female. One, your hair would grow and grow unless you cut it. Two, you would have a a baby when you decided to get serious about having one. It was hard to be a senior in school and know you're the only one that couldn't grow hair past her shoulders :/ and five years after being married and NOT on birth control those years I finally got pregnant - when he had asked me to 'go back to Alabama'! So yes, I understand the pain of infertility. John and I were never able to have anything more than miscarriages, and we went through the testing and drug taking :/ Never happened. However, I do have Jenny and John had two daughters that have become mine. I'll never understand why it has to be so hard to those who truly love children and want children. Give infertility to those that don't want and/or don't need children :)
ReplyDelete"All we want is chocolate or potato chips. Sometimes, we want both."
ReplyDeleteGod bless chocolate-covered potato chips.
I have never tried to get pregnant and don't plan to, so I can't speak for myself, but what I can say is that when you plan for something it may never come your way, but when you just let things happen, things really start to happen.
For the women who are trying to get pregnant and want children in their lives, don't give up hope.
They definitely look worth the wait! And I'm so proud that you are strong enough to pass that message on to those who may still be waiting. You are amazing!
ReplyDeleteLots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com
p.s. I always want chocolate AND chips!
ReplyDeleteLots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com
Maybe that is what it is this week!? Stopping by from SITS! Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteThank you again for being so honest about this. It's a topic that is near and dear to my heart as my husband and I have been trying for a year and a half to get pregnant. I know it's not the longest time someone has ever tried to be pregnant, but I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and a MOTHER since I was six years old.
ReplyDeleteIt is heartbreaking every month that we are denied a child. I do have hope that someday we will be parents, by our own flesh or by adoption, but it is still crushing.
Honestly, it has been a struggle to even keep talking to God. I'm in so much pain, and frankly feel abandoned. I know in my brain that I am not abandoned, but my heart hurts so badly. I'm am encouraged by others' stories of hope and success, and pray that one day I'll be blessed in the same way.
I did assume that once we decided to TTC that we'd be pregnant before too long. After tests and some treatments did not help, we opted for adoption. I'm not bitter now. I wanted to be a mom, and God gave me the desire of my heart. And, like you, I pray for women who are longing and waiting because I understand the deep pain it causes. So thanks for writing this!
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